He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
