I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
