Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
