He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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