what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize