You really coming over, don't trick.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
