Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
