So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
