she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
