Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My penis needs a shock collar
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
