Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
