I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
