before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
