I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
