I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
