Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
