i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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