Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
