I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
