My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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