wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
