Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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