I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
