If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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