You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she peed on how many people?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
