My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
