He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
