We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Couch. On fire.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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