dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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