Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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