So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
