You made me cry and you don't even care
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
