I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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