my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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