wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You know, be my cock's hype man.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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