Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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