my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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