Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
