We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
