I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
