Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
