North Korea, Best Korea!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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