Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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