i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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