everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize