i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I would ride that face into the sunset
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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