I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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