I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
