I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I look better un-naked...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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