alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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