There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
