We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize