margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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