Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize