so explain again why im purple
no
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
