so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
