I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
