...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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