Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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