You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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