so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
