I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
