i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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