Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
