Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
