I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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