My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
